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I could not have been at a better place than Edgware Road tonight; as I listened to the voicemail my mum left me, as I heard the words, "Call me back, it's serious', I knew what had happened.  Standing in the middle of Edgware Road, receiving the news of my Grandma's death, seeing people enjoy life, wasting it away here, I could see the stark reality of everything, of life and its purpose; it was all laid out there in front of me.

Jiddah, as I called her, wasn't very well for the past month or so, and she went into hospital this morning, falling into a coma after her heart failed.  For a while now she's said she wanted to die and to meet her Creator, with the past few weeks particularly painful for her.  It's so sad thinking back to all the special moments in my life that involved her, no longer going to happen.  Even though she was miles away in Algeria, we always used to send home videos of ourselves saying hi to her. I remember the time when I first met her since I was two, and the amount of love and care she showed me, a part of whom is inside me, treating the son of her eldest son so preciously.  I didn't need to spend years with her to know of the unconditional love she had for us all.  I remember how the wrinkles in her face so perfectly defined themselves whenever she smiled, which was everytime I walked into her room and sat down next to her.  Every morning I used to have breakfast with her, and she sat on her bed with her fan shooing the flies away from me.

We don't exactly know her age as records weren't kept during the colonisation of Algeria, and neither could she read, but she was extremely wise, probably as with most elderly people, solving family disputes and giving her many opinions on the world from her small window-viewing bed.  I hear the family out in Algeria are extremely shocked and upset at her death; she's been there for them all their lives, and it will probably be a while before 'mum's room' becomes just another room.  It will be a very difficult night and morning for them, and my dad. We can only pray that she's met her creator and waiting for us on the other side.

It must be a terrible feeling when you lose your own mother, the one who went through the process of carrying you, staying awake for you, worrying about you; a bond you will find no stronger elsewhere.  That's why this has taught me to value the mother I still have even more.

To Allah we belong, and to Him we shall return.

Are You Not Entertained?

A few of weeks back I went to see a film that Vue were re-showing for one night only, nine years since it was released. The film... Gladiator. There so many people in the cinema ready to watch a film you could easily get on DVD for the same price, but then again for such a good film, I'd expect nothing less. If I was obsessed enough to watch a film I already own, there definitely would be others, and I brought my brother and his friend to come along so I wouldn't seem like a lonely weirdo (everyone else I knew couldn't see the point), but I did bump into some old friends who were there for exactly the same reason. It was fun, experiencing something I enjoy with a load of strangers, most of us probably knowing (and lip-syncing :P) all the lines of the script, watching it on a big screen for the first time. I loved it, and I'm sure the couple behind me loved it too, judging by the tears the lady was wiping away by the end. This was a once-in-a-lifetime moment, and by the end, the cinema-goers went their separate ways, satisfied that they had re-lived a special moment in their lives once more and as if saying, "meh, I knew the ending anyway".

I may as well take the opporunity to talk about the film I consider to be my favourite hands down; it's got everything, and you just feel so attached to the characters because of the sense of injustice you feel that has befallen them, and of course, the real tearjerker at the end when he dies. I believe real heroes in films should die; you just got that much more respect for them (even though, yes, they are fictional). There are so many layers to the film, not just story-wise or how characters' relationships with one another develop, but with how deep each character goes; like with the 'villain', Commodus. It's explained that he's not a 2-dimensional villain but a 4-dimensional human being, and you can swap the roles of hero and villain in your head and almost relate to where he's coming from. On the high-quality picture in the cinema I noticed the backgrounds of alot of the scenes, like in the markets, and it looks like they've paid so much attention to detail! All in all, this is the film by which I judge all others. This is perfection in my eyes.

10/10

Captivating.

Starting Again

Wow, what a couple of weeks it's been! One week into the start of new life at uni and I already needed rest! We started on a Saturday which was unusual, with the groups of new people huddled outside the Medicine building which you have to join and introduce yourself to, before moving on to another group and forgetting everyone's names. The building is actually amazing! It sticks out like a sore thumb from the rest of the rather run-down Whitechapel, all futuristic and quirky-looking! And the main lecture theatre is too cool; award-winning design: all green with a few red chairs representing a poppy field (for some reason). But the library does retain its traditional look, maybe a bit too traditional...

Almost every night of both weeks there's been an event, obviously involving alcohol and the usual frolickings of freshers young and old, which I avoided, but which hasn't been an obstacle to my friend-making. We had loads of introductory lectures; a recurring theme this week, before having to go down to the Mile End campus for enrolment, for which we had to queue up for three hours! But it was a good opportunity to make friends and have proper chats. I'm actually surprised at the number of people I've become acquainted with during my first week; not only the 'hello and go back to your life' kind of friends, but the ones who would actually stop and talk. One guy I met on Monday was too cool (and still is), from Singapore, I have a feeling I'm going to get on well with him; having the same kind of humour and chilled-outness as my old maths buddy at college. Actually, forget that, I've just discovered that he has to go back to his country to finish off his national service. That really sucks!

Of the few highly-interesting lectures we had on the history of Medicine and everything, one was particularly eye-opening. A lady came in with her Doctor, and was HIV positive (the lady not the Doc). It was so enlightening hearing her story; that Medicine can't only take a person's well-being into account but also has to consider the social and political environment around that patient. It was sad learning that after she arrived from war-torn Northern Uganda, she contracted HIV and was kicked out by her partner after mothering her first (thankfully HIV negative) child, and then a second, and then learning of all the terrible side-effect inducing drugs that she had to take to suppress the virus inside of her. Very enlightening.

The first week ended with a lecture that terrified the hell out of us all, and is apparently an annual tradition at this university. We were all sitting there expecting "An Introduction Lecture on Clinical Medicine & Dentistry" and boy did we get it! The lecturer is apparently head of the Brain and Behaviour module, quite a large guy and the way he spoke made him the perfect pantomime villain. He went on about the rules, about people who turn up late not being allowed in, about our dress code and about his book that he wanted us to buy, and then there was the mobile phone incident. Someone's phone went off in the lecture and he warned that the next phone to ring would be dealt with. Sure enough, after a few minutes, a girl's phone did ring, and she was asked to come to the front, where he took the phone and dropped it in a jug of water! Everyone gasped! Later on he randomly read out two names who had to come forward, and to emphasise his point about buying stethescopes, he made the boy take off his top and the girl put her head to his chest and listen to the heartbeat. Towards the end we were all wondering who this freak of a lecturer thought he was, whilst he was showing dodgy pictures and figures from last year's fail rate, and that because extra students accepted the uni as a first choice, they'd have to kick out 55 students by the end of the year. Basically, we were all 'shook'... and that was until his last slide showed that the whole lecture was a spoof involving upper-year actors... Phew! But it really gave me an unexpected boost to make me start work.

The second week involved me meeting my new PBL (Problem-based Learning) group, and we had our first session dealing with a case of a guy who'd tested positive for HIV (it's like there are no other diseases in the world!) I volunteered to chair the group, which was me basically going through a set of points, making sure we'd covered our bases in terms of learning objectives, and getting a few members of our rather shy group to talk, but it was OK, and the next day (apart from sports trials and me forgetting my kit) we again sat in our group thinking up poster ideas for "Don't Believe Everything You Hear In the Media". Ah yes, sports... I wanted to do something different for a change, so instead of choosing football again, I went for badminton (which was way too crowded so I left early), and then the hockey trials, which were way far up North-East London somewhere. After a few drills we got down to the match, which is a bit like football, apart from the ball; which if you happened to kick with a bad toe, would hurt. They took my number down, and I went home.

And how can I forget Monday: Learning Landscape! We went down to Mile End in our labcoats and were given 'True or False' sheets to fill in about the human body and we were allowed to walk around the lab with all these bodies, bones and organs on display for us to touch and examine! Holding the brain was probably my highlight of the day :D

Thursday and Friday were mainly full of long Ethics lectures; quite interesting when you got into the swing of things, but initially very long-winded with very long words, but then he asked people what the definition of 'good' was, and then everyone started to pay attention. By the end, I left the lecture questioning loads of things that people could initially assume being 'right' or 'wrong', but with my new frame of mind, I now knew more than just patient consent and confidentiality. Learning about 'legal fiction' was particularly interesting!

Friday was also the second of our MMD (Muslim Medics and Dentists) events: a house party with a quiz on general/Islamic/Medical knowledge which really gets me going, and I began to answer questions I didn't know I knew the answers to! And, as with every evening of the past fortnight, I left for home shattered, and glad the weekend was ahead of me. And it's just the beginning of a hopefully long and successful time inshaallah.