These past 6 months haven't been happy ones. I don't recall a period in my life where I've felt sadder; yes even the events of 2008 have nothing on this, or maybe I'm just really bad at remembering.
Starting with the deaths of close friends in Syria, to events in Syria itself. It just saddens me to see the ummah in the state it's in. People that even claim to be Muslims are on the opposing side regarding the Syria issue, and will do anything to scupper efforts for progress, spreading propaganda and lies. The same can be said for Egypt. Things were looking up when Morsi was elected; now things are the stark opposite. The military coup has killed all hope of Islam flourishing in Egypt for a while, and what's more infuriating is that people actually support it, giving ridiculous excuses for the brutal repression taking place. And the list of countries goes on.
In this country, day after day the media is bombarding us with hate articles against Islam and Muslims. It's been overwhelming. From banning 'hate preachers' to 'debates' on the niqab and Muslims serving pork in M&S. This country is in a mess economically, but the media still finds time to print this rubbish?! It brings to mind the anti-Jew media campaign run by the Nazis, and we all know what happened there. What's sad is that the general British public couldn't really care about any of this blatant Islamophobia, not really learning from history, and it's even dividing Muslims over what side we should be on regarding certain issues.
On a more personal note, I'm sad because I've been let down by people I trusted. For the past few months there's been a constant heaviness in my chest, sometimes painful, sometimes just heavy. Trying to get on with normal life hasn't been easy; sometimes I am distracted from these sad thoughts by what I'm keeping myself busy with, and other times my mind wanders and fixates on this sadness. Seeing people around me lose their faith also really saddens me; and a visible manifestation of this is when Muslim girls, for one reason or another (and I know not to judge personal circumstances), decide not to wear the hijab anymore; conversely I rarely am happier when I see someone start to wear it for the first time. We are all in a a daily struggle against our soul and shaytan, but it's changes like these that really get to me.
So these are a few of the things contributing to my sadness. In front of my friends I am putting on a happy cheery face (no one likes a party pooper after all), and I know that this is just part of the test. Sadness doesn't last forever, and neither do the problems we face. It's how we pick ourselves up that really matters.
Monday, 23 December 2013
Wednesday, 25 September 2013
Syncope
So for the third time this week, I've had to intervene in someone collapsing in public. I did feel like a bit of a hero to be honest, and it lightened my mood up for a bit that evening :)
Monday, 19 August 2013
Milestones
Oh hey there. Yep I'm still alive. So, a lot has happened in life that I haven't talked about on here. For the sake of ease, I'm going to start with the most recent and then work backwards, as far as my memory serves.
So as Ramadan was coming to an end (the 27th day in fact), I passed my driving test alhamdulillah. This was my third attempt, and it happened only a few days before my second theory test expired. I took one about three weeks before this one, and I failed because I stupidly stopped at a roundabout when I should've just carried on (yes, I got a major for it). The first time I failed was just before my first theory expired and that was because I scraped the kerb as I was pulling over. Boy, have they rinsed my money!
The night before I passed, I finally finished memorising suratul Maedah, which wasn't too difficult alhamdulillah. I have been more or less on track this Ramadan with my one-page-a-day target. Other things were happening when I finished suratul Nisa' (a very tough surah may I add!); our close friend Isa, who had gone to Syria to provide medical aid, was killed. It was such a massive shock, and it still is. Clichés aside, he was an inspiration to our community in NW London, starting up our youth group which has gone from strength to strength, and we continue to have our Quran circles which made me start my journey of hifdh. May we join him soon inshaallah.
This year has been dedicated to my intercalated degree (a one year degree you can do in the middle of the medical course). There have been times where things were extremely chilled, only needing to go in once a week, to being a bit intense, especially around deadlines where essay-writing isn't exactly my forte. My dissertation was on exercise interventions in childhood cancer patients, which involved me and my project partner trawling through research papers and then writing 5000 words on results that were barely there. There were times when the course was quite interesting, learning about health inequalities, and times where I felt extremely lost, particularly during Health Systems, Policy and Economics seminars. The sociology and Primary Health Care modules were slightly dull, but I can see their appeal to some, and to be honest, the essay I wrote on the development of the 'profession' did open my eyes to a whole new world. I think that's what this year has taught me, a greater understanding of how health systems work, and I've left with a different way of thinking; less two dimensional now. Call me geeky, but despite my complaints about the essays I chose to write about the Russian health system and how it has developed from communist times, I did slightly enjoy it (especially when I submitted it :P).
Third year of medicine was amazing. I don't know how much I've talked about it on here, but I loved the freedom you have on the wards! As well as juggling all the societal commitments I had, I really found myself as I roamed from ward to ward finding patients to talk to and examine. During my first firm, bored from too much cardiology, I even snuck onto the paediatric ward and made friends with the doctors there. My surgery firm at the Royal London was cool. Because the old hospital was still in use, we had to constantly move from 18th century hospital to 21st century hospital to find all the surgical patients that needed tending to. I remember all the weekend night on calls I did, and how adrenaline-pumping seeing trauma patients come in with legs hanging off, and how I was considered as part of the team. There is something about hospitals at night that really attracts me; the way it can go from all calm; empty quiet corridors, to absolute chaos once that pager bleeps. Whipps Cross and its LONG corridor was my final firm, which was nice, but by this time, me and my firm partners were trying to find all the time off we could get, as end of year exams were looming.
Oh and then there was the issue of marathons. My first days of firms at both Newham and Whipps had me limping from Amsterdam and Paris from the weekends before respectively. Amsterdam was beautiful as a city (I went alone), but I didn't like that a few miles of motorway was part of the course; what happened to the canals and stuff? Paris as far as I remember (and I went with Farhan, who also was starting at Whipps that Monday- but we went in on Tuesday) was quite cold; we didn't really go past any landmarks, met an English guy with chatted with on the race, and the t-shirt given at the end was nice. I am currently using the Marathon de Paris kagoul to cover my bed during the day to stave off stray cat hairs.
So as I go into my fourth year of medicine, and my fifth at Barts, I can't wait to get back into things. Yes, I am slightly apprehensive about my lack of knowledge on everything (apart from Tetralogy of Fallot, can never forget that!), but I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat, and I still have a few days to brush up on my electrolytes and drugs and whatnot. I also can't wait to meet my new colleagues!
I also entered the FOSIS London Quran competition this year. Long story short, I won alhamdulillah (see video I've edited mistakes out from below :P). The thing is, I entered the highest category, which was called 'a quarter of the Quran', but I only needed to recite from Baqarah and two thirds of Aal-imraan, as advertised. But when I progressed to the national stage, they said (via email; I didn't go to Birmingham and receive this shock) I had to recite from the actual quarter of the Quran! In a few weeks, I will reach that milestone inshaallah so I may try again ;)
So as Ramadan was coming to an end (the 27th day in fact), I passed my driving test alhamdulillah. This was my third attempt, and it happened only a few days before my second theory test expired. I took one about three weeks before this one, and I failed because I stupidly stopped at a roundabout when I should've just carried on (yes, I got a major for it). The first time I failed was just before my first theory expired and that was because I scraped the kerb as I was pulling over. Boy, have they rinsed my money!
The night before I passed, I finally finished memorising suratul Maedah, which wasn't too difficult alhamdulillah. I have been more or less on track this Ramadan with my one-page-a-day target. Other things were happening when I finished suratul Nisa' (a very tough surah may I add!); our close friend Isa, who had gone to Syria to provide medical aid, was killed. It was such a massive shock, and it still is. Clichés aside, he was an inspiration to our community in NW London, starting up our youth group which has gone from strength to strength, and we continue to have our Quran circles which made me start my journey of hifdh. May we join him soon inshaallah.
This year has been dedicated to my intercalated degree (a one year degree you can do in the middle of the medical course). There have been times where things were extremely chilled, only needing to go in once a week, to being a bit intense, especially around deadlines where essay-writing isn't exactly my forte. My dissertation was on exercise interventions in childhood cancer patients, which involved me and my project partner trawling through research papers and then writing 5000 words on results that were barely there. There were times when the course was quite interesting, learning about health inequalities, and times where I felt extremely lost, particularly during Health Systems, Policy and Economics seminars. The sociology and Primary Health Care modules were slightly dull, but I can see their appeal to some, and to be honest, the essay I wrote on the development of the 'profession' did open my eyes to a whole new world. I think that's what this year has taught me, a greater understanding of how health systems work, and I've left with a different way of thinking; less two dimensional now. Call me geeky, but despite my complaints about the essays I chose to write about the Russian health system and how it has developed from communist times, I did slightly enjoy it (especially when I submitted it :P).
Third year of medicine was amazing. I don't know how much I've talked about it on here, but I loved the freedom you have on the wards! As well as juggling all the societal commitments I had, I really found myself as I roamed from ward to ward finding patients to talk to and examine. During my first firm, bored from too much cardiology, I even snuck onto the paediatric ward and made friends with the doctors there. My surgery firm at the Royal London was cool. Because the old hospital was still in use, we had to constantly move from 18th century hospital to 21st century hospital to find all the surgical patients that needed tending to. I remember all the weekend night on calls I did, and how adrenaline-pumping seeing trauma patients come in with legs hanging off, and how I was considered as part of the team. There is something about hospitals at night that really attracts me; the way it can go from all calm; empty quiet corridors, to absolute chaos once that pager bleeps. Whipps Cross and its LONG corridor was my final firm, which was nice, but by this time, me and my firm partners were trying to find all the time off we could get, as end of year exams were looming.
Oh and then there was the issue of marathons. My first days of firms at both Newham and Whipps had me limping from Amsterdam and Paris from the weekends before respectively. Amsterdam was beautiful as a city (I went alone), but I didn't like that a few miles of motorway was part of the course; what happened to the canals and stuff? Paris as far as I remember (and I went with Farhan, who also was starting at Whipps that Monday- but we went in on Tuesday) was quite cold; we didn't really go past any landmarks, met an English guy with chatted with on the race, and the t-shirt given at the end was nice. I am currently using the Marathon de Paris kagoul to cover my bed during the day to stave off stray cat hairs.
So as I go into my fourth year of medicine, and my fifth at Barts, I can't wait to get back into things. Yes, I am slightly apprehensive about my lack of knowledge on everything (apart from Tetralogy of Fallot, can never forget that!), but I'm sure a lot of people are in the same boat, and I still have a few days to brush up on my electrolytes and drugs and whatnot. I also can't wait to meet my new colleagues!
I also entered the FOSIS London Quran competition this year. Long story short, I won alhamdulillah (see video I've edited mistakes out from below :P). The thing is, I entered the highest category, which was called 'a quarter of the Quran', but I only needed to recite from Baqarah and two thirds of Aal-imraan, as advertised. But when I progressed to the national stage, they said (via email; I didn't go to Birmingham and receive this shock) I had to recite from the actual quarter of the Quran! In a few weeks, I will reach that milestone inshaallah so I may try again ;)
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