These past 6 months haven't been happy ones. I don't recall a period in my life where I've felt sadder; yes even the events of 2008 have nothing on this, or maybe I'm just really bad at remembering.
Starting with the deaths of close friends in Syria, to events in Syria itself. It just saddens me to see the ummah in the state it's in. People that even claim to be Muslims are on the opposing side regarding the Syria issue, and will do anything to scupper efforts for progress, spreading propaganda and lies. The same can be said for Egypt. Things were looking up when Morsi was elected; now things are the stark opposite. The military coup has killed all hope of Islam flourishing in Egypt for a while, and what's more infuriating is that people actually support it, giving ridiculous excuses for the brutal repression taking place. And the list of countries goes on.
In this country, day after day the media is bombarding us with hate articles against Islam and Muslims. It's been overwhelming. From banning 'hate preachers' to 'debates' on the niqab and Muslims serving pork in M&S. This country is in a mess economically, but the media still finds time to print this rubbish?! It brings to mind the anti-Jew media campaign run by the Nazis, and we all know what happened there. What's sad is that the general British public couldn't really care about any of this blatant Islamophobia, not really learning from history, and it's even dividing Muslims over what side we should be on regarding certain issues.
On a more personal note, I'm sad because I've been let down by people I trusted. For the past few months there's been a constant heaviness in my chest, sometimes painful, sometimes just heavy. Trying to get on with normal life hasn't been easy; sometimes I am distracted from these sad thoughts by what I'm keeping myself busy with, and other times my mind wanders and fixates on this sadness. Seeing people around me lose their faith also really saddens me; and a visible manifestation of this is when Muslim girls, for one reason or another (and I know not to judge personal circumstances), decide not to wear the hijab anymore; conversely I rarely am happier when I see someone start to wear it for the first time. We are all in a a daily struggle against our soul and shaytan, but it's changes like these that really get to me.
So these are a few of the things contributing to my sadness. In front of my friends I am putting on a happy cheery face (no one likes a party pooper after all), and I know that this is just part of the test. Sadness doesn't last forever, and neither do the problems we face. It's how we pick ourselves up that really matters.
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