Results

Last Thursday I got my exam results for first year, and I passed! All I can say is alhamdulillah, thank God I've passed the one year mark without any slip-ups, and can look forward to 4 months of retake-free summer. To be honest, apart from one paper that was too close to call, I didn't think I failed, and overall I think I got an A. Checking the results brought back memories of logging into UCAS seeing if I got a university place, but the results were comfortable passes and I'm happy, sort of. We had to get more than 50% in every paper to proceed, which I did, but I'm disappointed I didn't achieve a merit (as far as I'm aware, since friends who did get merits already know), which is reserved for the top 25% of the year.

I don't think I particularly deserve a merit, unless you count the hours spent in extra lectures every week throughout the year, but I didn't spend one sleepless night revising, and certainly didn't put as much effort in during our one week of study leave as others did. I'm not a fan of re-writing notes out neatly to pretend you're doing some revision. Sure, you'll have something ordered and tidy to read from on the tube to the exam, but it's just too time-consuming and laborious, compared to just reading from the notes and lecture slides you already have; the route I chose to follow.

But maybe I should have been a bit more ordered in my revision; I did have a timetable from which I knew what I exactly wanted to revise on a certain day, and the piles upon piles of material were sorted out into their respective modules, but there was something extra I was missing; maybe taking a more organised approach from the start of the year is a good idea, so by the end, you have all the key things you need to learn summarised and highlighted ready for your final few days of delirium.

I hate the idea of being mediocre, whether in exam results, sporting prowess or just life in general. I think it's our parents who shape us into people who either really have that urge to achieve more or just settle for second place. I don't like doing second place. Remember in our younger years when we wanted to do well in something because it would make our parents proud? Or when we found something cool and wanted to show them, and present said object in front of their eyes, and they would gleam in appreciation and pride? Although those shows of praise have all but ended (almost), I still have the urge to try my hardest and do my best, be the best, because it's been instilled in me; it is me.

So next year inshaallah I will do better!