Pre-exams

Next week is make or break week. Very worried, but strangely quite excited too. I know I haven't done nearly as much revision as I would've liked, but last minute rescue operations are pretty much the theme for this year. And two days before major exams, I find myself suddenly paying my blog some attention. Oh dear.

Teddy Bear Hospital

I've been involved with Teddy Bear Hospital ever since I started at Barts; I loved attending the clinics and seeing all the young children, playing with medical equipment with them and seeing to their sick teddies. When the AGM came up at the end of my first year, I was persuaded to go for a position, so I chose publicity officer; a relatively chilled-out job where you make posters/flyers, organise refreshments and generally let people know about events. Perfect! The committee was good and I made loads of new friends; just what I wanted.

After a year of that, the president and VP that year urged me to run for president, and had already (perhaps prematurely) begun giving me advice on how to run things. Then came the AGM and everyone liked me enough to choose me as their next president. Happy days. Or so I thought.   

Being in charge of a society is much more different from taking part with barely any responsibility. It's always on your mind; it becomes almost a part of you, with you thinking about future plans as well as how everything is going at present. Ensuring the committee is working well is another massive component. Teddy Bear Hospital changed for me when I took the reins. No longer are you concentrating on how much fun the children are having, but always thinking about schedules, participants, equipment. Organising and overseeing visits to many schools over the year takes its toll. You are always worried if enough people will sign up, and whether or not committee members will show up to fill any vacancies.

I have learnt so much during my time as president, not only the skills I've developed, but about the human condition. I've learnt that although people can sometimes go above and beyond the call of duty, generally, people let you down. Whether they have prior engagements or not, or if they have simply decided to not reply to any messages and engage in other CV-building activities, despite their most heartfelt promises to give their all during their election speeches, I have learnt that the best person to rely on is myself. Jobs that I need doing can be done to a quality that I am satisfied with, and on time. I'm not saying that teamwork isn't important; it is essential. But sometimes it takes more effort explaining what you need doing, and chasing the person up, than doing the job itself. Sometimes there has to be an 'I' in team.

From the beginning I had decided that I was going to make sure everyone on the committee was on the same page with everything, sending regular updates via email and text, ensuring that I took everyone's opinions on board. But one problem I did face was that as the year went on, people's enthusiasm for the society waned. Actually even our first clinic had really poor attendance from the committee, which required me to 'stamp down my authority' in the form of a strongly-worded email.

A real test of your resolve is when things go wrong or not to plan, and it's up to you to think of a solution in limited time. We've had no shortage of those this year, which included having more children than goody bags on one occasion, a dangerous lack of people attending one day, and a whole load of Safety Day issues piling up one after the other (To put things into perspective, I made a 20 minute video on everything that didn't go to plan). Safety Day is our one big day where children from different schools come to our university campus and we hold activities for them, and where we invite the emergency services (and their vehicles) for the kids to see, as well as open the doors of Barts' Centre of the Cell. It's supposed to be a fun day for the kids, but probably moreso for the volunteers taking part. Organising it was a different issue, apart from the months of email-sending and preparation, the real work happened the night before. It's also the time when most of the things went wrong.

Being a leader requires you to remain calm in the midst of total chaos and find ways around problems. I think I was mostly able to do that, at the expense of some serious R&R afterwards. A good leader has the full attention and obedience of his team, something I don't think I fully achieved. I was worried about overworking my committee with various tasks and so instead I did many of them myself. The reason people join a committee is because they are willing to work, and maybe 'upsetting' a few people is ok if it's in the name of productivity.

I also found that, especially with the amount of stuff I do, juggling academia and extra-curricular work is not easy, and I still find it miraculous that I've managed to pass everything this year. Despite me promising to calm down on the societies front, I don't think this will happen anytime soon. The AGM for next year's TBH committee was held the other day, which meant I could gladly relinquish this role that has taught me much, but not without a few parting complaints on how the AGM was held, with people questioning its transparency and the competence of the people taking charge. There will always be critics, but sometimes you just want to give them the job and see how badly they'll crumble under the pressure. People think that holding a position of authority is easy; that you just 'delegate' tasks, but so much happens in the background that no-one sees, especially with Teddy Bear Hospital where we have a steering committee of mainly doctors scrutinising your every decision.

I will always be involved with TBH in one capacity or another,and I'm glad that I had my year as president, but I'd rather just sit down and have fun with the kids, thank you. 

Lost

Today was probably one of the most busy days ever. I started the day off thinking I'd have to sort out a petition and get all the students to sign it, for the members of staff being made redundant, before our president told me otherwise. That was a relief I thought; the rest of the day should be easy, I thought. So that I spent that morning sending emails, filling out an ambulance risk assessment form (which made me aware that another risk assessment form for our student union had to be filled in; cue the hectic rush to request one from the lady I'd been trying to avoid out of fear that she'd make me jump through more hoops). Then I had to write and compile MMD Weekly. This was in between me doing shoutouts for Teddy Bear Hospital Safety Day for first and second years (hence all the emails and risk assessments; I'm quite a risky guy normally). Then I made a facebook group, then I decided to prepare for the interview at Kings I had later on, before sorting out young offenders-related stuff. Then I had to chase up people doing their bits for Safety Day, packing goody bags and buying stuff and whatnot. Then just before leaving for Kings, I thought I'd quickly film the video of the area for the teachers, saving them the hassle of coming down and risk evaluating things for themselves (I know, we live in a risk-filled world!).


On the bus to Denmark Hill (yes, Denmark Hill, not Guy's campus), I just managed to have a read of the Global Health essay I wrote for them, as well as replying to various texts and emails regarding our wonderful Safety Day. So got the interview done, it was OK, I said my bit, and then went back to Whitechapel to meet up with the VP and sort out the rest of the stuff.


Anyway, bragging about how busy I am isn't the reason I am writing this blog-post (I was just setting the scene, not really). On the way to returning the Tippex pen to the Garrod Building (long story, not really), I bump into a man smelling of alcohol, swearing at a sign pointing towards departments of the London Hospital that are now closed (the whole Hospital is now in the shiny new building if you weren't aware). Out of curiosity and a burning desire to help anyone I come across, I ask him if he's lost. It turns out he was looking for the psychiatric A&E department he had run away earlier from, and he showed me his referral letter, which contained a pretty precise history of what he was suffering from.


Rather than point him in the direction of the new A&E, I decided to walk him there, during which time he opened his heart out to me, saying that he was joking about his suicidal thoughts, and that he reckoned they were going to section him (I got a decent history out of him myself). The best thing I could do was reassure him they were doing what was best, but the strange thing I felt was that I felt more comfortable with him than I do with other 'normal' people. The fact that there was nothing to hide, that he was willing to tell me that he was 'scared' (albeit a bit drunk), I felt secure in his presence. Once we arrived at the A&E, he thanked me and I went on my way.


It's weird how we fear the unknown, but when something or someone seen as dangerous is apparent, we don't feel as scared. Well, at least I don't.

Slightly Busy

I'm currently drowning in organising uni society events, meeting deadlines, representing students, exam revision, marathon preparation (just the travel, not actually training), night on-calls, charity fundraising and BSc applications. As soon as I can take time out to breathe, I can finish the holiday review and write on here what I've been up to since. Inshaallah :)

Closer

What I've learnt from being ill is of the extent of kindness and mercy a mother has towards her own child. But Allah loves you even more.

What Do You Do?

Life can be pretty hectic sometimes; I've attended every day of hospital firms so far (apart from one when I was in Amsterdam; yes I still need to post my bit on that here, along with the EuroTrip memories), and I do usually stay longer in hospital than I have to, looking for 'extra' things to do. Yes, you could call me a 'keen' student, and doctors do usually have to tell me to go home. But when I'm not learning, I find I have A LOT of things on my plate. I'm president of Teddy Bear Hospital, I'm VP of Muslim Medics and Dentists, and write the weekly 'spiel' that goes out in the emails, I'm representing Barts on the Medical Students Committee at the BMA, Charity Week overseer, and I teach lower years their lectures (through the MESS society). These are the main positions I hold, and with each come a million jobs and responsibilities, where if things aren't organised and sorted out, people could be let down.

Sometimes there can be a 'conflict' between academia and extra-curricular stuff; for example last week (the week running up to Monday's exam), as with every week actually, I had something to do every day: helping out and giving tours on interviews days, a talk on the medical profession and mental health given by psychiatrists, meeting friends. Oh and a deadline on Friday for my essay to be marked by the cardiology consultant. A few months ago I had the choice of doing the essay on anything heart-related, but as there was a patient on the ward with Tetralogy of Fallot (a congenital heart condition), I thought it would be cool if I did it on that. Until the consultant wanted me to include a bit on the embryology of the heart, which is slightly difficult (let's say that people do their PhD's on just that). So Friday was slightly hectic with me trying to finish off the last few paragraphs with references, with the whole three weeks prior involving me on the tube reading various embryology books, trying to decipher the pictures of the developing heart, and typing out my interpretations on my Blackberry. And Friday culminated in me rushing to Newham Hospital to hand in a hard copy of the essay, and I think going to see friends afterwards. 

So in the end I had the whole weekend to revise Cardio/Resp/Haem for the exam on Monday. But that didn't really happen, I was way too chilled out for some reason. Was I too confident in myself that I knew everything? Not really, but coming out of the exam, I'm happy that I didn't stress. The exam was relatively straightforward, which could be because I spent way too much time on the wards and subconsciously picked things up. But only when the results come out, will I know if I have to make some major changes in my life.

In a way I'm glad I am this busy, as it's taught me much about how I work inside and how I deal with others. Staying behind and peeking inside other departments in the hospital has opened doors for me, and I've met many cool people as a result. Even helping out on student interview days has made me really appreciate what I have going for me, and I can see myself in all these keen beans wanting to get into medicine. I'm also quite saddened by the number of people in my year who don't really seem to enjoy what they're doing, and don't  grasp every opportunity that has so kindly been presented to them.

Crossing Paths

Today was the last of my four fortnightly GP days with this surgery. I have to say it has been an enlightening experience, certainly giving me a better insight into GP life than I had before. And we saw some really interesting patients, like another polio case today, heart murmurs galore and a stroke patient who had so much difficulty expressing what he wanted to say, it was upsetting. But the Muslim doctors were extremely nice and we were bought lunch every time we were there. At the end of the day, as everyone went to get their logbooks signed off, I went upstairs to pray, where I found the cleaner cleaning up. I went into a small room and prayed, and as I finished, the cleaner asked me to remember to turn the light off. Then he spotted the prayer mat in my hands.

"Oh you're a Muslim? I want to become a Muslim!"

It's funny how some things in life just happen; how if you intend to make one small step towards doing something good, the Heavens and Earth open up for you just to make it possible :)