Alarm clocks shouldn't exist because...

1- They're technically not 'alarm' clocks; I just looked up the definition of 'alarm' and here are a couple, among others:

*fear resulting from the awareness of danger
*a device that signals the occurrence of some undesirable event (hmm, waking up maybe?)

So personally they haven't caused me much alarm, apart from when they don't flipping work, which brings me to...

2- They don't flipping work. Today was quite an important day for me, not only was I accompanying Ismael to Oxford for an open day, but more importantly, today is the day facebook bring in usernames (at 5:01 AM... thanks facebook), and I wanted to get my preference in early before some awesome like-minded person got there first... and well, they got there first. This morning I didn't wake up to the sound of an alarm clock, but rather to the sound of silence; I randomly sat up in bed and stared at the clock for a while, analysed it. "Hmm, I set my alarm clock to 6:10 so I could make a username (and go to Oxford), but it says here 7:05. Hmm. And I need to leave in ten minutes, interesting." There's always that pause before the panic ensues, before jumping out of bed, giving breakfast and shower a miss, and getting clothes on whilst cursing the alarm clock, which I probably sleepingly snooze-buttoned, and which brings me to...

3- They have snooze buttons. They are just asking to be pressed. Even if the alarm clock is 100 metres away, I make the effort to reach over and press it, just for that extra few minutes in bed, and those few minutes more, and those few minutes after that. What I'm saying is, I have a snooze button addiction (yep, and I've joined the facebook group); I don't need it at the moment. Snooze is quite a funny word by the way.

4- Alarm clocks are just annoying. I know you can change the alarm tones on your phone, but anything that has no compassion when waking you up deserves to be hated, and I ended up hating certain phone ringtones. Even if it was in the middle of the day and coming from someone else's phone! Annoying.

Anyway, I'm sure there are more reasons why alarm clocks shouldn't exist, but I wonder how people managed without alarm clocks, or clocks at all for that matter! Was everyone late for everything? Or weren't there things to be late for in those times? Maybe the invention of the alarm clock caused everything to change; before we just 'did' and things just 'happened', and now there's the wait for clocks to tell us to 'do' and things to 'happen'.


Back to my waking up story; I found a few minutes to switch on my laptop and get on facebook, fairly sure that no-one could have the same username in mind as me And be bothered enough to log in two hours after it started. "Orangepeeler, perfect!" I thought to myself. And to my dismay, someone had already taken it! Orangepeel... the same! My world was beginning to fall apart in front of my eyes. So I thought I'd think of a good one on the way to Victoria coach station and so I logged off.

On the way I tried logging on with my phone but it wouldn't work; and I had a few ideas: orangesoda (probably already taken by an avid Kenan & Kel fan), redambergreen (after getting desperate and looking at some traffic lights :S), then it hit me... apatheticorange! Yes! It's 'apathetic orange' AND 'a pathetic orange'... something people would point out, and I'd would say "Yeah you loser, I meant it that way, I'm awesome." (and yes, I did consider awesomeorange)! But yeah, it would be a good icebreaker in conversation :P So anyway I got to Victoria and went into the nearest coffee shop to hog their Wi-Fi and get my username in, but guess what, there was no Wi-Fi, and I was distraught until I discovered they had Wi-Fi on the coach we were taking! So I logged in and after first trying orangesoda (surprise surprise it was taken), I did it, I typed in apatheticorange and clicked 'check availability'... "Please please please... YES!" So for the rest of my life now, my facebook profile page will be identifiable as facebook.com/apatheticorange ... mwahaha! I'm sad. And I'm taking my sadness to Oxford.

(Edit: all of the above has been made redundant as I've changed my username to something much better in my opinion: yasinspiration!)